Goodbye World

…It is only fitting to end a blog this way when it started with “Hello World”.

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It started as a blog for self-expression. But along the way, I lost track of this purpose. I felt like I was pandering for likes and views and appreciation of many.

I delved in subjects and photos that seemed normal back then but in retrospect have no value to me. My highest viewed article was about car show models. I did at all for the views. I achieved what I wanted, but then again, not what I really needed.

I stretched too far and too wide that my blog soon looked like a monster to me. It’s like staring in the mirror and not seeing yourself.

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I liked to write because I’m an awkward speaker.

My mind is too fast for my tongue; makes me look like a confused, blabbering idiot when I need to speak up but not prepared. I learned to take it in with a pinch of laughter whenever this happens.

This branched on to other things. I became an introvert, getting drained when I’m with other people since I always had to correct myself in my mind. I always try to be at a certain level of ‘best’ that I know is not the real me. The real me is just me with my mind too fast for my tongue.

In writing, I shouldn’t do these things anymore. I should be able to express myself more freely, more authentic. But my blog just became an extension of the ‘not me’. I adapted my post based on what I think others will read and like.

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Another factor of even greater importance that lead me to this last post is that I now have Jesus Christ in my life. This blog, when taken as a whole will not glorify and honor God. Sure there are some post that does, but there are more post that don’t. I can relate this to 2 Corinthians 5:17 the most: the old has gone and the new is here! Galatians 2:20 also states that the old worldly self was already crucified when we accepted Christ in our lives. It is now Christ who lives in me and to honor Him is to turn away from the worldly encumbrances and sins of my past.

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Both lead me to this end of the road. I will return to writing. But for now, goodbye world.

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Mobile Office

Literally.

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Our facilities management shutdown our office floor this week as part of cost-saving initiatives. Historically, most office employees go on leave during these times or they work from alternative locations. Shutting down the floor meant savings in terms of utilities (especially air conditioning) and they can also do most of the maintenance activities that they can’t on regular days.

For the past three work days after Christmas, I worked remotely from my room. But for today, since Anni and I have parties to attend in the metropolis , I decide to work in my mobile home. I could have worked from home you might say and just leave after. But our car is number-coded not to traverse the metro from 7am-8pm on Fridays. That’s why I left home and got to park within the vicinity before 7am.

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Our car (Practical Panda) is my mobile home. I eat in it, I sleep in it and now, I work in it. Good thing it is December which meant somewhat cool climate (I don’t need to turn on the engine to power the air conditioner).

I liked how technology at this point is advanced that they are in my favor:

  • My office laptop (HP Elitebook 840 G3) can last me the whole 8-9 hours without needing a power outlet.
  • My trusty company phone (iPhone 5C) which I am using as a hotspot.
  • A small USB fan to circulate the air and help in cooling.

I just go down for restroom breaks and food.

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Of course, things could still get better as I know PPanda’s limitation. Here are some of the improvements (but not necessarily critical to my work operation) I could think of right now:

  • Portable ref that takes power from the cigarette lighter socket. Cold drinks!
  • Power outlet that can be plugged to cigarette lighter socket. This is only in case I work overtime and the laptop battery is already drained after my usual work hours.
  • Steering wheel desk or passenger seat desk.
  • Better legroom. But this will come naturally when PPanda reaches level 23 and evolves to its Stage 1 form or at level 40 for its Stage 2 form.

Stage 1 EvolutionStage 2 EvolutionUSB fan with evaporative cooler and/or solar powered car window exhaust.

  • Puppies. They always makes any office environment livelier.

😉

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Letting Go

There was a time back then when Kuya Aris returned to PH and we went to visit his friend in Taguig. We took pictures and uploaded them in our desktop computer. There was then a virus scare that prompted me to reinstall Windows; overwriting and losing those pictures. Kuya was naturally angry with me on that incident.

This unconsciously started my journey and OCD tendency to save everything and backup everything. Funny video online? Save it. Pics? Better do several backups to be safe. Music I just heard? Google it and save. Free installers I can download anytime? Better to still keep a personal copy.

I had lots of digital junk: legit and otherwise. Redundant digital junks.

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A couple of years ago, I bought one of those new-fangled 1.5TB external HD. It was still somewhat pioneer technology, it had its own power adapter.

It was like a backup dream. 1.5TB of data was quite huge at that time. It was 3x the previous portable HD we bought. My plan was to offload all my junk from the laptop HD to this. But it turned out to be a huge nightmare for my younger self.

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Given the hefty volume I need to transfer, I set it up to transfer while I was sleeping. Pictures, videos, documents. Everything.

I woke up and the transfer seemed to have finished without error. Seemed. I can view my files in the external HD but, I cannot copy or open files out of it. It was like a glass box that I can view all contents but I cannot touch or use anything inside of it.

This glass box is still sitting somewhere in my room, a heavy and expensive reminder of one of my digital failures.

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I kinda went crazy on topics of backup, figuratively. No backup, you live in fear of losing your digital stuff. You have backup, but there is no guarantee that your backup will not fail. And you still have the fear of losing your digital files.

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This world had taught us that we can find our security in our possessions: whether in real or in virtual life. It taught us to find our identity in what we have.

But security is not in the accumulation of material and digital wealth. Just as rust and mites will eat up our earthly possessions, viruses and data corruption threatens our digital wealth. Those who are in the new and embraced cloud computing will soon find out that they can lose access to their data if the company providing the cloud service becomes bankrupt, got hit by hackers with malicious intent or simple power blackout. Solar magnetic storms. EMP attacks.

Coming to Christ, I now know that my identity is not in how many movies I have accumulated or songs I purchased or apps I installed. It was a futile effort to build my life on these things. When I die, I cannot bring these to where I’m going.

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I had the opportunity to do a bit of digital cleaning today. As I was reviewing some of the files, I realized that I didn’t had to carry all of these burdensome digital junks. One of my life verse came to mind (Matthew 11:28-30).

Anything that doesn’t help me and my walk in any way should be removed. Old installers, deleted. Unknown files that I don’t know how to open but are not deleted just because I’m thinking they hold sentimental value, deleted. Copied movies, deleted. Video game ROMs, deleted. Downloaded music albums, deleted.

Aside from freeing up space in my laptop HD, I can feel that I also freed myself from one of my encumbrance (Hebrews 12:1).

My prayer is that I can continue on this path and that I will not be encumbered again by these worldly desire to accumulate digital or material possessions. Be minimalist but not just on the belief of being happy from within or with thoughts of saving Earth from man’s destructive behavior; but on the thought that this is not our permanent home. For those who believe in Jesus, He is preparing a place for us in His Father’s house (John 14:2-4). That is the place that I wanted to invest with all my heart and soul.

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