…It is only fitting to end a blog this way when it started with “Hello World”.
It started as a blog for self-expression. But along the way, I lost track of this purpose. I felt like I was pandering for likes and views and appreciation of many.
I delved in subjects and photos that seemed normal back then but in retrospect have no value to me. My highest viewed article was about car show models. I did at all for the views. I achieved what I wanted, but then again, not what I really needed.
I stretched too far and too wide that my blog soon looked like a monster to me. It’s like staring in the mirror and not seeing yourself.
I liked to write because I’m an awkward speaker.
My mind is too fast for my tongue; makes me look like a confused, blabbering idiot when I need to speak up but not prepared. I learned to take it in with a pinch of laughter whenever this happens.
This branched on to other things. I became an introvert, getting drained when I’m with other people since I always had to correct myself in my mind. I always try to be at a certain level of ‘best’ that I know is not the real me. The real me is just me with my mind too fast for my tongue.
In writing, I shouldn’t do these things anymore. I should be able to express myself more freely, more authentic. But my blog just became an extension of the ‘not me’. I adapted my post based on what I think others will read and like.
Another factor of even greater importance that lead me to this last post is that I now have Jesus Christ in my life. This blog, when taken as a whole will not glorify and honor God. Sure there are some post that does, but there are more post that don’t. I can relate this to 2 Corinthians 5:17 the most: the old has gone and the new is here! Galatians 2:20 also states that the old worldly self was already crucified when we accepted Christ in our lives. It is now Christ who lives in me and to honor Him is to turn away from the worldly encumbrances and sins of my past.
Both lead me to this end of the road. I will return to writing. But for now, goodbye world.